ERIC'S RULES FOR HOLIDAY LIGHTING

1. 1. Nativity scenes shall only include the following characters: baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, magi, shepherds, angels, various barnyard animals, and the popular "with a tale as big as a kite" star. Santa Claus was NOT present at the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ! Neither was Ms. Claus, the Grinch, Frosty the Snowman, or Rudolph.


2. 2. Many people seem to believe that simply lighting a character makes it suitable for holiday decoration - this is not so. The lighted lawn flamingo, gnome, college mascot, football player, or frog is just an amusement for your other times of year.


3. 3. A lighted Santa head suspended from a flag pole outside your door is NOT festive. It's just creepy.


4. 4. Inflatable characters seem to be popular these days, and it is important to make sure they are fully pressurized and completely weighted down. Otherwise you may have scenes of "Santa on his back after a hangover," "Frosty contemplating joining Jenny Craig after staring at his stomach," or "the Grinch doing something completely inappropriate to the Holiday Polar Bear."


5. 5. Look at your neighbor's house. Then look at the other houses on your street. If they ALL have the EXACT same holiday stick-in-the-ground Santa/Christmas tree/"We Wish You A Merry Christmas," that you got from the kids in the high school band that wanted to make money off a few pieces of plywood, then maybe it's a good idea to sit this year out and use this piece for 2005.


6. 6. If your entire house is lit in blue, then it is NOT festive. It is Superman's Fortress of Solitude


7. 7. One Christmas train is neat. Two Christmas trains are fun. TEN is over the limit - your house is not brought to us by Burlington Northern Santa Fe.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you!!