- I love my son. I haven't even met the little guy yet and I'm already completely retarded about him.
- That being said, I am going to get to be his Dad, which means I'm completely entitled to have fun at his expense.
- The aliens we are dealing with here will be of the Ridley Scott variety, or alternately, the one making an appearance in the diner scene of Spaceballs.
- Your baby's mileage may vary.
|Starts life as an egg.||Same.|
|Can not survive early development without a parasitic relationship with its host.||Same, although said host generally feels better about having a baby.|
|Robs the host of valuable nutrients and energy.||Gives the host ample opportunity to enjoy the brunch buffet.|
|Exits the host in a violent and destructive fashion.||Usually the worst thing that happens is that the new Dad faints.|
|Has an unusual shriek used for rudimentary communication.||Yep, got that too.|
|Requires a woman's special talents to be brought into order.||Same here - no flamethrowers, please.|
|Excretes gooey slime that dissolves practically any object it comes in contact with.||Have you SEEN my diaper??|
|Brings drama and tension to its environment.||You'd better believe it.|
|Plenty of sequels.||Let's go for just one more, ok? :-)|