2/14/2007

WHY BABIES ARE LIKE ALIENS

**Disclaimer**


  1. I love my son. I haven't even met the little guy yet and I'm already completely retarded about him.

  2. That being said, I am going to get to be his Dad, which means I'm completely entitled to have fun at his expense.

  3. The aliens we are dealing with here will be of the Ridley Scott variety, or alternately, the one making an appearance in the diner scene of Spaceballs.

  4. Your baby's mileage may vary.






Alien

Baby

Starts life as an egg.Same.
Can not survive early development without a parasitic relationship with its host.Same, although said host generally feels better about having a baby.
Robs the host of valuable nutrients and energy.Gives the host ample opportunity to enjoy the brunch buffet.
Exits the host in a violent and destructive fashion.Usually the worst thing that happens is that the new Dad faints.
Has an unusual shriek used for rudimentary communication.Yep, got that too.
Requires a woman's special talents to be brought into order.Same here - no flamethrowers, please.
Excretes gooey slime that dissolves practically any object it comes in contact with.Have you SEEN my diaper??
Brings drama and tension to its environment.You'd better believe it.
Plenty of sequels.Let's go for just one more, ok? :-)