I WANNA LEAVE

Take a look at the timestamp at the bottom of this little post-y-thing, and you'll see that there's not much time left in the business day.  And I wanna leave.

Have you ever met someone that had a laugh that was intensely annoying?  There's a lady here that fits the bill for me.  Hers is the open British "HA" with a jarring glottal stop chainsawing through, and I swear it drives me nuts.  Said woman's husband also works in my team (don't get me started on THAT), and I have no clue how the guy can stay married to her.  YES, simply because of that laugh.  It's just that bad. 

Went to a little informal party at work today for my wonderful boss (and I'm not being sarcastic - she's great to work with), celebrating her 35th anniversary with the company.  Thirty-five years!  Is that even possible with anyone from my generation?  Certainly, the key to her extended tenure is that she works for one of the largest corporations in America, and was able to move around within the company to keep from burnout.  You know, I would love to be able to stay with a  company for that long, but I just don't see it happening.  "Back in the day" companies valued experience - today it's a liability.  Maybe I just haven't met "the right one," but I view myself as a mercenary of sorts - talented, highly effective, independant and motivated by the paycheck, not the position.  At this point in my life, my talents are available to the highest bidder - the company that puts together the best package for me to enjoy.  Don't get me wrong - I really like this job, but that doesn't mean it's until death do us part.

Geez, that was dark.  Let me cheer you up with a little funny called Meow Skywalker.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF LITTLE MONKEYS

So yes, the posting has been a tad infrequent of late.  You've seen me apologize for this, you'll likely see it again.  Let's move past all the pleasantries and get into the goods then, shall we?  I don't have a case of the Mondays today, I've got a case of the entire freakin' week.

• GET yourself an RSS reader. Do it now, don't wait, get over there and yet ya some. (For my friends with PDA's, a partnership of MobileRSS and AvantGo will make your bones shiver with joy.)  Lemme get this post done with, and I'll give you all a list of my current favorite RSS feeds.  Don't know about RSS, OPML, or the world in general?  There's the links - go take care of that.

• Mrs. Baird's makes these cinnamon rolls you can find in most vending machines, and I tell ya, they are GOLD for your $0.75. Of course they're not healthy, and of course if you can avoid eating from a vending machine at all costs you should do so, but when you're fungry and all you've got is a few Washingtons, hit up the digits for these things and enjoy.

• BLEW through Cory Doctorow's "Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom" this weekend, and I enjoyed it immensely. When I was in high school, I read "Neuromancer," not knowing it for the cyberpunk bible that it is. Turns out I like the genre quite a bit. Right now I'm working on "Rule of Four" by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason, which I'm also finding to be a good read.

• Isn't it ironic that I work in Marketing, love promoting products and ideas to consumers, and yet can't stand the banal, fake, and hedonistic images staring back at me from the Kroger check-out line?

• I'm going to download the most annoying cell phone ring I can find and put it on full volume. Then I'm going to leave my phone on my desk and find an autodialer on eBay to call it incessantly during the day. I have heard no less than FIVE Christmas-themed cell phone rings from colleagues surrounding my cube. Has someone pushed the "Become Awash With Stupidity" button on Earth's master control system and failed to notify me??

• See that girl on the left, the one sitting next to me? She's my wife, and she's the most amazing person on this planet or any other currently known. Sure, if they discover Vulcan in my lifetime we may have to rethink this, but for now she's got it covered.

"I feel love..."

9:31 A.M.

...and I've just consumed enough caffeine to reach consciousness after the Labor Day weekend.  I love the holiday, but then Tuesday is a BEATING.  I now feel competent enough to speak to others of my species. 

THE PRESIDENT SHOPS AT WAL-MART

So I had an epiphany recently.  Not a huge one, mind you, but one that I think is good enough to share with you, gentle reader.  It all started Monday night...

The dear wife and I had the great chance to go to the Cowboys game that night - their third preseason game.  If you ever have the chance to go to a preseason game, I highly recommend it - it's cheaper, less crowded, and you get to see some up-and-coming elements for your team.  The 'Boys left their starters in until the 2nd half, when they were apparently scared off by the halftime performance of Warner Bros' recording star Big & Rich.  So, we decided to head out at the end of the 3rd quarter.

We made the long trek with many other fans who had left the game to the parking lot, got in my car, turned on the key, and I'm quickly rewarded with a half-hearted series of clicks - battery's dead.  I get the joy of walking up to a complete stranger, who happened to be nice enough to help me jump-start the car.  We make it home, and I spend a few minutes on the phone with my Dad and doing some experiments to confirm that the battery is indeed the problem.  (My dear wife believes that this step was completely unnecessary, but we won't get into that argument now.)  Having identified the culprit, I make my way to Wal-Mart at a little after midnight.

And that's when it hits me - shortly after I walk into the concrete box that is America's largest retailer and one of the largest companies in the world.  You know there's going to be a very odd assortment of people, and it reminded me of this study I saw one time that said something like over three-fourths of millionaires shop at Wal-Mart once a week - some surprisingly high number like that.  I've just spent almost half an hour Googling to find it, but here is the best similar citation I could come up with. 

So then that led me to this:  we're all thinking about the upcoming Presidential election, and how we would evaluate which candidate we'll vote for.  Everyone's got their own decision metric, whether it's a detailed platform analysis, pure party-line direction, or your own Magic 8-Ball, and I think I've come up with mine - I want a President that I could imagine seeing after midnight shopping at Wal-Mart.  Take away his title and all the Secret Service agents, and I want a guy that I wouldn't do a double-take at seeing him at Wal-Mart.  Why?  Because I want a man that I somehow intrinsically know is in touch with real people, the kind you don't find at Sipango tasting the cool merlot of the month, but the folks that shop for a family of 4 on a budget at their local Wal-Mart.

Now, I'm not going to get into which candidate I think that is - you've got your own decision to make.  I just think the man we should put in office is the man that has something in touch with real people - like the ones I found while I was looking for a new car battery.

"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine..."